5 Ways To Be Thankful In Your Season Of Infertility {+ Other Hardships}

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

I never thought I’d be able to honestly tell you that I’ve found so much to be thankful for related to infertility I have faced over the years.  Notice, I did NOT say that I am thankful FOR infertility, but that I have found ways to be thankful IN the thick of it.

The reality is, yucky stuff happens to all of us. We are imperfect, messy human beings in desperate need of a Savior. My mess may look different than whatever you are muddling through, but we’re all doing our best to navigate through this crazy life.

Statistically speaking, couples struggling with infertility are three times more likely to divorce. That’s crazy, but honestly not shocking.

I feel blessed to have gone through this hardship. I am not in any way, shape, or form happy that I couldn’t have kids naturally, but even years later, I feel like God has used my story to strengthen my faith in Him in ways that I could never begin to put into words. Jesus is my Rock, and I am so blessed to be loved by Him.

 

Hint: the tips below can apply to any hardship you might be facing.

5 Ways To Be Thankful In Your Season Of Infertility

1. Look for the encouragers.

They are there; sometimes you have to weed out the discouragers to find the people who remind you of God’s goodness and His love for you. They are a lifeline on the days when you feel unworthy.

Look for people who don’t judge you for not being a mom. In my season of infertility I had worshipped at a church that treated me like I had a contagious disease because I was childless. It was devastating to not be invited to things and when finding out about them later, being told, it was just for moms. *btw, these were all childless gatherings*

If you find yourself in a church community like that, please pray about whether or not God wants you to stay. Because you honestly don’t deserve to be treated that way. (Thankfully, I am in a much healthier church community now.)

2. Read God’s Word! Be authentic with the Lord.

God has made His love known to me time and time again through His Word because I choose to pick up my Bible, even when I felt like throwing it across the room. I chose to run to Him in my grief because He’s wired deep within me an ache to find hope in Words that come from Him alone. I gained a deeper understanding of authenticity with God because I didn’t hold back how angry I am at my life. God is so good, loving, and patient, even when you are angry, bitter, and hurting. Relationship truly is about being authentic and speaking openly about our issues, so why would it be any different with our Creator?

3. Find comfort in your favorite humans.

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard the phrase “you should try these vitamins, they worked for me,” or “did you try to prop a pillow under your bum?” and a million other strange, uncomfortable, and inappropriate tidbits of advice. It can be so awkward when people want to share “helpful” information, especially when all you need is a hug and a little prayer. Weed out the unhelpful people and cling to the friends that will sit with you and eat chocolate or go shopping, or better yet, binge eat chocolate after a long day of shopping.

4. Be thankful for the gift of grace.

People often like to fill awkward silences with words. I’m so guilty of this! We don’t think before we act, and the words we offer to those grieving can be so discouraging. So when the “helpful” advice comes flying out of someone’s mouth, don’t respond with bitterness. And don’t take it personally. Instead of recoiling or getting angry, respond with something like “Thanks for caring, but I just need prayer. Will you commit to praying for me this week? That means more than any advice you could offer right now.”

5.  Be thankful for the abundance that God has given you.

Don’t be focused on the ONE THING you can’t have. Instead, make a list of the hundreds of other blessings that fill your life. Refer to this list. Practice gratitude until it is a habit. Remember: Just because you haven’t been blessed with children doesn’t mean that you’re not blessed with an abundance of other wonderful things. It’s all about #perspective.

I’m thankful for all the blessings that came from this struggle. I had to search hard to find them. I never asked for this pain, but it doesn’t mean God can’t use that pain for His good and glory. (Romans 8:28)

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude allowed me to gain perspective and see the gifts I was given. I trust that He has the best in store for my future, even when I can’t understand it.

What is it that you are struggling with today?

Maybe it’s a bump in your marriage, a divorce you are in the middle of grieving, or it’s the pain of infertility, miscarriage, a health scare, job loss, or other devastating news. In your pain, you can turn to a Savior who loves you and desires to wipe away your tears and carry your burdens.

Choose to trust in Jesus and the rich promises found in His word.

Take gentle care of yourself today. ツ